Its A Wonderful Life

All the News That's Fit to Print . . . .

2006-07-29T13:27:00.000-04:00

For anyone that does not know it, the title of this blog is the tagline that's been a part of the NY Times banner since, well since the beginning of the paper I suppose. I sometimes add my own tag, ". . . and some of it that isn't", when I read some of the stories, or even some whole sections of this pretty good newspaper. Anyway, the point of this lead is to say that this morning (Saturnday, 29 July) I opend the Metro section to see yet another murder of yet another innocent, but before I could put the paper down, my eyes moved to Dan Barry's About New York column.

There is no way that I can do Mr. Barry's writing any justice, but a short synopsis:

23 month old son of hardworking lower class family falls from unguarded seventh floor window and SURVIVES with a broken leg and a few bruised but intact organs. This is a kid who was born premature at 3 pounds and has already beat the odds once. He was being supervised, but we all know how easily this could have happened.

Was he lucky? It would be hard to say that he was not. Lucky that he was holding on to a pillow that cushioned his fall, lucky to land on one of the few grassy patches that are found around public housing projects. Lucky to have the caring and support of a strong family.

Was it a miracle? I can't really say, but after reading this story four times, three of them aloud to various friends and family members I am left with a feeling that there is a reason that this boy will remain among us, a reason we may never know, but just the same he is here, he will survive and from what I can glean from the article he and his family will cherish every moment of his life as they have done up to this point -- as should we all.

Movies, 'Tweens, Teens or Adults?

2006-07-27T15:38:00.000-04:00

I missed yesterday's post be caught up in the the day's troubles, but when I was able to read through the posts, I was surprized by how much seeming agreement there was on movies and attitudes towards/surprise about adolescent viewing.

As we know, two of "them" live here and surprisingly we can usually all agree on a movie. The adults, of course, have the heavy hand as far as censorship, but we have seen movies like "8 Mile", "Crash", "Dear Frankie", "Black Hawk Down" and "Hotel Rwanda". We have also reached back to see "Boys In The Hood", the original "Manchurian Candidate" and all of the Budd Abbott and Lou Costello pictues. They particularly liked "What's Eating Gilbert Grape" (mom is a Depp fan).Amongst us we have far reaching tastes, but I've always been pleased with my kids' willingness to view most anything. Recently we saw a French film, subtitled of course about boys in an orphanage (it's name escapes me). The dialogue, besides being in French, was rapid fire but I heard little laughs and other acknowledgement that showed they were engrossed.

My children are not allowed to watch "R" rated movies without us either being present or having screen them. Our local video joint (well stocked by the way) will not allow them to rent and "R" rated film, period. I like that little safety net, because they are allowed to rent on their own at 13 and 14. Have they made dumb or probably inappropriate choices, absolutely and "40 Year Old Virgin" comes immediately to mind, but we have educated them about film and continue to do so and frankly I would rather have them watch some "R" rated films that have content to discuss than some of the stuff that is actually marketed to their age group. I am happy when we sit the the movie theatre and they dis many of the trailers as being "too stupid looking". They participate in building the NetFlix cue and do enjoy, as others have said, those '80s films like "Breakfast Club" (watched twice, back to back). They loved "American Graffitti" and even some of the Batman movies, and were truly amazed at how special effects have evolved.

A recommendation: "The Mighty" -- talk about friendship, loyalty and understanding!
and if you haven't tired of Haley Joel Osmant, "Pay It Forward"

DYFS, hopefully not a microcosm

2006-07-26T14:36:00.000-04:00

Late in blogging this time, spent the better part of the morning pulling my hair out and contemplating sticking pins in my eyes as I haggled with DYFS over a child I am working with.

Before I go any further, and in my own effort to center myself, let me recommend (no, I am not kidding) a wonderful volunteer opportunity called CASA. It stands for Court Appointed Special Advocate and advocates for children "in the system". As a volunteer you are assigned a case, usually of one child, but sometimes a family and as the acronym suggests, become their advocate. It's wonderful, sometimes sad but always interesting work that really is making a difference in the lives of the children we are able to touch. Needless to say, there are many more children than there are volunteers so many go without. The organization, and the volunteers are held in high regard in family court and often our insights can "tip a case" in a way that brings resolution to the child's life.

Anyway, my case is incredibly tragic, I won't go into it because we have moved so far along a positive road that it doesn't seem important anymore. However, it can be such a David and Goliath thing -- me against DYFS. It would seem we would all want the best for our youngest members -- after all they will be responsible for us in our old age -- but it's surprising how short sighted many of the folks responsible for and advocating for these children can be.

In this case, I have to advocate for the severing of a parent's rights to their child, so hard as I am a parent, but there seems no other way. This kid is so poised to succeed, but he needs to be "on his own" to get the services he needs and his mother has told everyone who wants to listen that she's not interested in or able to take care of him -- so what's the problem??? History, "family values", religion, all the weird stuff that gets in our heads and mixes all around until we are totally confused and not getting anything done. That was my morning.

Still, I highly recommend this work -- have a couple hours a month? Like kids and seeing them happy and successful? Are you resourceful and tenacious? Think about it because kids are waiting for you.

Nightmares

2006-07-23T16:46:00.000-04:00

I don't know exactly where it came from, but I had a rough night and definite images from FEED were involved. Was anyone else completely creeped out by that novel?

I know it was set way in the future (the space travel thing is still such a pipe dream and budgets don't play in its favor), but SO MUCH OF IT SEEMED SO POSSIBLE OR WORSE YET, PROBABLE. I was speaking with one of my brothers about it, he's Mr. Tech in our family and he saw many corollarys to the internet, banner advertizing, the sponsorship of stadiums and areans, people allowing their cars to be used as advertisements, etc.
The longer we spoke, the more examples we could come up with.

I was also bothered by the whole "sheep" aspect of the way they thought(or should I say didn't), dressed and spoke aloud. Two years ago, when we toured out beyond the Appalachians, I remember feeling a little creeped out by the lack of diversity amongst midwesterners. I know that's a gross generalization, but seriously, there seems to be one opinion on most topics out there and A LOT of corporate vs. governmental or hey, individual leadership. When I think about my discussion with my brother and back to that trip, I wonder how far we really are from the scenario put forward in the novel.

What really bothers me most is not that the characters were necessarily ignorant (although not the sharpest tools in the shed so to speak), but their general willingness to just ACCEPT things. I am teaching my kids to question everything they hear and read, to be able to defend their positions with real information and thoughtful purpose -- will they be part of a dying breed, like Violet. What happens after a while, do you just give in to the overwhelming power of advertisement and become a totally self absorbed person? It's that handing over of power issue again.

Did anyone see Minority Report?? My husband said it was similar in message, have to NETFLIX soon.

mean Girls, Mean People

2006-07-23T16:21:00.000-04:00

Yikes, I almost hate to admit to this, but I enjoyed Mean Girls and have mentioned it to my own 13 year old daughter & her friends, most of whom have not seen it. I guess I thought parts of it were way over the top and I felt a little "led" through the movie -- I don't like that at all. I did like most of the characters, even the ones who were overdrawn, like the mother. Unfortunately, I think I know a couple of women like her, whose dress and conversation does not gravitate far from the dress and conversation of their daughters. My comment about them is always that I already went through hight school, didn't much like it the first time and certainly would not want to repeat the experience!

The girls who were hanging around here last week feel (of course) that while there may be a click or two around school, it is more a matter of hanging out with people you are friends with or comfortable being around. I was looking at their clothing while they were talking and they were dressed pretty similarly with certain brands glaringly displayed. Is it that they dress alike, or is it that there are limited choices. A couple of the girls "shop" at the Salvation Army, but most are mall rats.
My daughter has preferences, but I can't quite figure them out -- she's not a follower, but is picky about color, texture, length and has old favorites she hangs on to long after they are out of style. She says she doesn't care, but I don't know if she is responding to me (I am a strong anti click/style/whatever) person or really feels this way.

I know these girls feel the tug and pull of one another and whomever the "popular" girl is at the time. This role does change hands and I can't figure out what the queen bee's power is based upon. AND, make no mistake about it, she is powerful, even if that power is fleeting. She seems able to make or break friendships, determine who will be invited to parties, who sits with whom at lunch. Then, for reasons I can't determine, there is a new "queen bee". There is lots of talk about this phenomenon between and amongst the girls and they, too, seem to not understand how this happens.

I get irked at their "victim" stance. We've talked about popularity, that it is about power and that power is given -- that they, in essence are giving the power to the popular person -- it seems to fall on deaf ears. Hmmmm.... No one seems willing or eager to dethrone the girls of the moment either. They more or less wait her out, deal with whatever hurts she inflicts and bemoan the situation amogst themselves.

Are they on some kind of learning curve here? Is this necessary to their full development as adult women, I don't know. I do sense that these girls, my own and her friends are amazingly resilient in this area. Not that there are no tears, but they are able to recover rapidly and with little evidence of any deeply inficted ache or pain. I think that's a positive, but again, I don't know.

I ordered a copy of Queen Bees and Wanna Be's for my August pile -- forwarned is forarmed!

Boys, Girls, Comics and Pamela Anderson

2006-07-19T12:18:00.000-04:00

OK, so Pamela Anderson is getting married today, what is that about?

Moving on, I have spent many minutes clandestinely looking at my son and daughter in light of the discussion of feminist theory and whole idea of gender. Without a doubt, I see certain actions, activities and hear them say things that definitely put them in one camp or another (male and female).

I tried to get out of them what they think about certain things being ascribed to males or females and I was shocked to hear how "sexist" they were! This is a household of two working parents both of whom hold strong opionions on lots of topics and there is much discourse around our table. Chores are done according to likes and dislikes, (I truly abhor laundry, grocery shopping and ironing, but love to cut the grass and to paint, plaster, etc.)and even though my husband is a chivalrous guy (his mother made him be), it's not a sexist act. He knows I can take care of myself and not only accepts, but respects that fact. There is plenty of "gender bending" in my children's environment, not only from us, but from many of our friends.

How is it that my daughter claims certain books, movies and even COLORS are for boys?
Is there a "pink" gene???? She is a fond reader of books with strong female characters and talks about this, but somehow, someway the message is not translating.
My son told her (even though we all take turns on the monthly chore list), that she should really set the table, it's a "girl" thing. I almost clunked him with the wok!
What makes it a "girl thing" I asked and he said because it happens in the kitchen!!
What, there are rooms in our house that are for men and women . . . I had no idea.
I reminded him how much he likes to cook, but somehow cooking is "different".

Now I am ruminating about whether some aspect of this sex, sexual construction and gender stuff isn't also hardwired . . . I plan to keep the discussion alive.

On another note, our New Yorker arrived yesterday (why I ever thought I could keep up with a weekly magazine I will never know) and as usual I leafed through it quickly to look at all of the cartoons. In light of our reading/because of our reading I really noticed the different styles of cartooning -- Am enjoying the book, even though I had had my doubts, the history of comics and how the senses and brain are involved is very engrossing. There is a lot of art history, politics, marketing, sciene and a host of other stuff going on in this cartooning thing.

Middle East Jitters

2006-07-17T10:58:00.000-04:00

I have to admit to a great deal of distraction over the middle east crisis. I am an admitted news junkie and follow a steam of different viewpoints to try to reason my own opions out, but this situation has raised a real feeling of concern in my and I can't seem to just sit back and intellecualize about it.

My family went away for the weekend without me so I could focus in on putting my paper to rights, but this situation has intruded in on my thoughts so a huge degree. It's one of those issues where I have been sure of my opionions in the past, but then have found myself shifting viewpoints. As a former student of early civiliztion, I am intrigued by the very nature of the disputes and often wonder who we (as in the country), who really do not seem to understand the historical push and pull of the area
can make (or not) the kinds of blanket statements we do. Where are all of our scholars and resident experts. Politics as usual, I don't believe, is going to work is this situation. We have ignored this area and its deep rooted issue for some time now and will they and the rest of us (it really is a very small planet)now pay the price for this misunderstanding (deliberate???) and neglect?

Anyone else think this is scary??

What's In A Name?

2006-07-14T21:17:00.003-04:00

Adolescence, hmmmm..... Wow, there are so many terms and ideas about something that may very well be completely artificial in some regard. There are religious,not so religious and cultural celebrations, sets of responsibilities that appear out of no where, the onset of the dreaded puberty with all its mostly unpleasant body changes.

Yes, there are hormones (ask any 11-18 year old about their skin and body odor issues), but I am less than certain that they are the sole contributors to the moods and sensitivities of this group of folks.

Also there appears to be a great deal of writing, not all of it particularly "scholarly" about this group and it reflects many, many different opinions as well as a lot of literature for the adolescents themselves to read that "reflects" their life, or helps them to deal with their life, maybe??

I'm feeling a rush of confusion myself and I don't believe it's my hormones!

What's In A Name?

2006-07-14T21:17:00.002-04:00

What's In A Name?

2006-07-14T21:17:00.001-04:00

What's In A Name?

2006-07-14T21:17:00.000-04:00

Wow, there are so many terms and ideas about something that may very well be completely artificial in some regard. There are religious,not so religious and cultural celebrations, sets of responsibilities that appear out of no where, the onset of the dreaded puberty.

Yes, there are hormones (ask any 11-18 year old about their skin and body odor issues), but I am less than certain that they are the sole contributors to the moods and sensitivities of this group of folk.

Also there appears to be a great deal of writing, not all of it particularly "scholarly" about this group and it reflects many, many different opinions as well as a lot of literature for them to read that "reflects" their life, or helps them to deal with their life, maybe??

I'm feeling a rush of confusion myself and I don't believe it's my hormones!

Graffiti, etc.

2006-07-13T15:46:00.000-04:00

O.K., after a morning of expanded dogged research my frustration level has risen to the danger level and I am doing a little graffiti project of my own to get refocused -- this is a very adaptable activity!! Anyone else have problems getting printable versions of some of this research?? I eventually abandoned the bibliography and went directly to the journals in the stacks and the internet and was somewhat successful. It's been hard to match the research with the themes of the interview, or am I not understanding this???

Good Kate, Bad Kate

2006-07-12T10:43:00.000-04:00

Wow, Kate is like, "Everyman". There is something so honest about her (on the inside if not on the outside) that I found it easy to ignore some of the other, "central casting" characters that I felt could have also been given a bit more soul.

Adolescents have a lot to find their way through, a lot to balance and it must be some defensive act on nature's part that we forget most of this "stuff". In my kinder moments as a parent, when I am trying to get them so feel that I do understand some of what is happening to them, I have said to my two kids that they would be hard pressed to find anyone who would be willing to be 12-17 again. Also, as a parent, Kate helped me to understand more the whole pressure part of adolescence: pressure to succeed, pressure to be loved by your peers, pressure to not be unusual in an unacceptable way, pressure to act like you don't care, pressure all around. It's amazing that we survive this at all. Maybe other cultures, with their sometimes primitive and scary rites of passage have it actually correct . . . if you can set a rock on the back of a rhinocerous and return safely to the village, you are OFFICIALLY an man and accepted as such. Sure sounds better than 5-6 years of utter hell!

Of lupines, Pumpkins and the Fruits of the Harvest

2006-07-12T10:06:00.000-04:00

Yikes, this was truly difficult . . . so many books with so much to say.

Perhaps because I have spent the majority of my time on earth with children, I first thought about their literature with its simple, clear prose and "don't hit me on the head" messages that lend themselves to rich discussions that you can't chart out ahead of time. I've always loved the journey vs. the destination and these books are about the journey in that each time I read them aloud or even to myself (I always look in the bookstore to make sure they are in stock or in the library to see if they are on the shelf)I find myself involved in a whole new discussion. So here goes . . .

A long time favorite, Miss Rumphius by Barbara Cooney tells the story of a little girl who is reminded by her grandfather that it is not enough to be happy in the world, but that you must leave it somehow better than when you arrived. Pshaw! she believes and sets out to become what she wants (a librarian), travel the world, and have a house by the sea. But she is not happy and a serendipitous series of events allows her to find a way to make the world more beautiful. At the end of the story, you learn that the tale is true and does not really end -- and that's the point of what the grandfather was really talking about.

I, who have a quote above my desk that says something similar to the girl's grandfather use this story to kick off the idea of service learning in my classroom without really mentioning the service learning term or suggesting any projects. I love to listen to and watch the idea of world citizenship grow right in front of my eyes. Children have this amazing ability to not be put off by the size or seriousness of problems. They have a genuine, "why the hell not?" attidude that I happen to share (maybe because I spend so much time with them). This book reminds me that anything is possible, that little things count and often become big things. That if you "do the right thing", you leave not only a footprint but a trail and that others will follow and make it further than you did and thus the path keeps getting cleared.

My second book, Pumpkins by Mary Lynn Ray is an environmental cautionary tale but also one about the power of one and the (again) serendipitous nature of life. A man who loves the wide open space around him learns it will be sold and developed. He sells everything to buy and preserve it -- but can't manage the long term costs of land ownership. What to do?? The idea he comes up with and what happens as a result is truly delightful and again reminds me so much of human ability and the kind of solution a child might come up with that most of the rest (adults) of us would scoff at at the very least.

These books keep me honest, keep me thinking simply and clearly, help me to "turn down the noise" around me that might muddy my moral waters. Their basic lessons; work hard, live true, think responsibly, love big and leave something contributing behind are some of what I think a moral education or being a moral person is about.

Psychopath, revisited

2006-07-09T22:20:00.000-04:00

Just reread the SLATE article outlining a different point of view regarding the motivations/or not of Klebold and Harris. After finishing Give a Boy a Gun, I thought I would give the article another look. It made me see the novel differently even though I finished it so recently. Yikes, Dr. Coles was right about the contributions reading makes to our own views and to our own stories. Mine has certainly changed regarding the event and the boys themselves, maybe "adolescents" in general. Why the quotes you ask??? BECAUSE, I finished reading "Raging Hormones: Stories of Adolescence and Implications for Teacher Preparation" by Margaret Finders which not so much altered my view of adolescents but brought some historical context to my feelings, hight recommend this reading.

Out of Mind, Not Out of Sight

2006-07-09T21:38:00.000-04:00

A couple of years ago, we took some equity built up in our home and looked for an "escape hatch" out of New Jersey. We found it in a run down house on a a beautiful piece of property not far from here, but world's away. Lots of luck and sweat equity have made the house more pleasant and, well the property remains beautiful. Set on the quiet end of a lake, we can literally feel the pressures and stress of life in New Jersey fall off as we cross over the rickety (75 cent toll to the man in the lawn chair) Dingman's Ferry Bridge. The air softens, the light seems to change and the noise shifts from bustle of traffic to rustle of leaves and call of birds. Even if we have to "work" be it in the form of clearing brush, continuing to make small repairs or paint, or even bring work (in my case school reading), it is somehow different, easier, more enjoyable.

I wanted to share this -- come and visit. We have an open door policy, just call and say you are on your way. This is the sort of place that is only enriched by the presence of others. Hey, why don't we have a class there???

The Importance of stories

2006-07-09T20:00:00.000-04:00

Dear Dr. Coles,

Let me admit at the outset of this letter that I have struggled with reading your book, The Call of Stories. It is not the content, but rather the language that has caused the struggle. As I said in my graduate class, where I became familiar with your book, it reminds me of Dickens, whose long prose and multitude of characters and situations confuses and frustrates me as I attempt to make sense of it all. I suppose, in a way, this could be construed as a backhanded compliment(that is if you are a Dickens fan), and I hope you will take it as such.

As a teacher and the mother of two budding adolescents, your call to listen to the stories of others in order to enrich both my own story and my responses to my students and children has resonated with me. I have long held that we do not listen well enough to others, often constructing our next response in our own heads while we feign listening, but that's another point.

As a teacher, I've often worried that my students, and some of their parents hold me on some kind of "all knowing" pedestal. You spoke of this in your chapter titled, "Vocational Choices and Hazards". They seem to regard my words, thoughts and sometimes opinions as some kind of gospel. I worry about this for three reasons; first that they discount their own words, thoughts and opinions, second that this puts me in a position of responsibility that I neither earned or desire and lastly that neither they nor I get the benefit of growth and understanding that would enrich us.

As a parent, especially of adolescents who speak so sparingly to begin with, I know that while they publicly disdain me, that my children pay great attention to my words and opinions. I know this because they often imitate them. I, however, want to hear about their opinions, to know what is having an influence on them, to see how they are evolving as they navigate their lives. They too seem to feel that my words and thoughts superceed theirs due to my life experience or some other dribble. I don't mind, in fact I consider myself lucky at this point that my children engage me in conversation, but I want to incorporate their stories into my life as well.

These two thoughts merge when I consider my next career step, that of a librarian.
Yes, I will be the "keeper of the books", but how to get those who enter the library to understand that they two are writers, writers of their own stories? That, as they read the books contained within those walls the words will be woven into their stories both altering and reflecting them?

This is the challenge your book has brought to me. I know full well that I can not make this happen (that would be contradictory to your message, n'est pas?). I wish this were truly a letter that you could actually respond to. We could have a dialogue of sorts. I am going to imagine the questions you might ask of me to set me on my journey and I am going to think of you taking in what I say and looking for links in your own experience. This seems a satisfying way to begin and I believe may prove fruitful to me.

I will be rereading your text and many of the books, poems and speeches you referred to have made their way on to my reading list . . . thank you for this gift Dr. Coles and for giving voice to some of my own thinking, it's good to have company on the journey.

That Was Then, This Is Now

2006-07-05T13:51:00.000-04:00

Reader response is so very different than when we were reading! It is very much in line with how we currently teach reading in elementary school. We look for the way the reader connects and we query how they arrive at their opinions, feelings, etc. During that discussion, we the listerners (be they teachers or other students) are influenced by what they have said. Maybe we don't agree, maybe we just think about it, however we allow for and encourage the discourse.

I can distinctly remember getting into with a college professor over a passage in TS Elliots's "Lovesong of J. Alfred Proofrock". She kept asking us our interpretations about passages and then shooting down what the person said. Exasperated, I raised my hand and asked her whether she KNEW the author because she was so darn sure that we had it wrong. Needless to say . . . . Anyway, very different from the theory of reader response, thankfully!

From the mouths of babes . . .

2006-07-04T23:02:00.000-04:00

Just finished reading through the Reading Response links and thinking about the current philosophies and movements in education which brought me back to an old text "Mosaic of Thought" that puts forward the idea of the importance of a reader getting into what they are reading. It discusses the importance of interacting with the text, asking questions, making connections, etc. This is reader response theory on a kid/elementary level and I really felt that my experiences teaching in this way, across the curriculum did indeed enhance not only comprehension of a piece but provided for wider interpretation and a chance to analyze text that young readers don't often receive.

It is true that several students reading the same book will have alternate "perceptions" of the book's characters, and their actions, and anything else that appears on the page. What I found instead of confusion was clarification at best and consideration at the very learst. When confronted with another interpretation of material, students (these were eight and nine year olds) sat back and listened to and questioned what was being discussed -- much more interesting and definitely, "mind expanding".

I believe authors have intent and purpose, but I know that we read books through our own lenses of experience and opinion and so, no matter the intent, we may interpret the words in front of us differently than the author (or the critics) may have intended.

I like this theory and feel it makes for good literary discussion in my classroom which seems to spill over into their writing (it gets richer, full of more possibility, but I am not sure I made the connection before reading the links and writing this). Hmmmm. . . .

2006-06-28T20:41:00.000-04:00

This is my second time viewing "Bowling for Columbine" and I was able to view it less for its entertainment value and more for its messages. I first watched it with my children, both budding adolescents and was aware of their occasional chuckle as well as their silence. I remember being uncomfortable during certain parts of the film -- for many different reasons.

My children are African American and the parts about white people's perceptions of whose violent and who's not in our culture, the repeated images of young African American men being arrested and treated in demeaning ways was particularly difficult for me to sit through as this issue is part of a long running conversation in our home.

I worried then and worry still that my children and other adolescents don't have the sophistication to understand many of the subtle points Michael Moore is making (to me their occasional chuckle was evidence of this, but maybe I'm selling them short??).

Another concern is what young people viewing this might take away about the adults that their well being is entrusted to, the adults that built the world they must now live in. I wonder whether this would give them cause for despair or anger or would they just feel justified in their opinions of us,-- our seeming ineptitude. . . .

During this viewing, like the second read of a book, I saw different, multiple themes and the emphasis seemed to be not so much on the event of Columbine itself, but more on our culture of gun violence and the search for its roots and long life. We are a long way from the inception of the second ammendment, a time when our country had no standing militia and protecting one's property and family from a multitude of potential "enemies" might have seemed necessary. I don't believe there is a straight line between the writing of that amendment and where we are today. I thought the "South Park" thing amusing but simplistic. I tried to considered its audience (which actually made me a little sad thinking that to some, probably more than I know, it was an acceptable rendition of American history). I also struggle with the passion some have for gun ownership, even guns that appear to have no other use than to kill people. If our feelings are so far apart, where is the opportunity for diaglogue or . . . solution?

As the parent of adolescents I was also struck by the general "duh" factor amongst the adolescents featured in the film. It was very sad that the girls that bowled with Dylan and Eric "didn't really know them". I wonder how that was possible . . . it seemed a deliberate act, that the boys were just disregarded. Adolescents are all about perception and those perceptions seem to be off a large percentage of the time -- as adults we need to be very aware of this and always helping them to "see" more clearly.

I do not believe that there are easy answers or solutions to the issues presented in this film.I do not blame the actions of the rest of the children for Dylan and Eric's act. I believe that both Dylan and Eric were damaged is ways that were not known or understood and that the ways in which their lives evolved, the ways is which they perceived their lives and the people around them contributed to their decision. I do not blame the media (films, music, etc.) and probably, while I am a proponent of gun control is some form that I have not worked out, I probably do not blame the gun manufacurers or the munitions industry.

I have real concerns for who we have become as a people, for what seems to be shift in our moral compass and know that I am not representing the popular opinion.

This week on NPR there has been a series of discussions on torture as it pertains to prisoners of war and I have similar concerns there. I lost a friend in the trade center, waited many anxious hours before hearing from and retrieving my own dust covered and broken husband and then endured thirteen seemingly endless months while my brother and his fellow guardsmen secured the Bagdad airport, but still I can not come down on the side of torture. While I recognize that the second amendment exists, is open to interpretation as the founding fathers intended (the constitution to be), understand the idea of hunting as a sport and appreciate the skill it takes, I can not get my moral compass to turn in the direction of casual gun ownership -- not until we can figure out who we have become as a people. I believe that we must have this discussion and at the risk of sounding "preachy" will divulge that I try to get this discussion going on man levels between and amongst people with whom I cross paths hoping this idea, this discussion will grow.
As Robert Coles (who's writing style, by the way, I don't really care for) reinforces, we need to get at people's stories, really get at them, to know what motivates them, where they've come from and where they're headed.

We needed to know Dylan and Eric's stories and we needed to know where they were headed so we could head them off.