This is my second time viewing "Bowling for Columbine" and I was able to view it less for its entertainment value and more for its messages. I first watched it with my children, both budding adolescents and was aware of their occasional chuckle as well as their silence. I remember being uncomfortable during certain parts of the film -- for many different reasons.

My children are African American and the parts about white people's perceptions of whose violent and who's not in our culture, the repeated images of young African American men being arrested and treated in demeaning ways was particularly difficult for me to sit through as this issue is part of a long running conversation in our home.

I worried then and worry still that my children and other adolescents don't have the sophistication to understand many of the subtle points Michael Moore is making (to me their occasional chuckle was evidence of this, but maybe I'm selling them short??).

Another concern is what young people viewing this might take away about the adults that their well being is entrusted to, the adults that built the world they must now live in. I wonder whether this would give them cause for despair or anger or would they just feel justified in their opinions of us,-- our seeming ineptitude. . . .

During this viewing, like the second read of a book, I saw different, multiple themes and the emphasis seemed to be not so much on the event of Columbine itself, but more on our culture of gun violence and the search for its roots and long life. We are a long way from the inception of the second ammendment, a time when our country had no standing militia and protecting one's property and family from a multitude of potential "enemies" might have seemed necessary. I don't believe there is a straight line between the writing of that amendment and where we are today. I thought the "South Park" thing amusing but simplistic. I tried to considered its audience (which actually made me a little sad thinking that to some, probably more than I know, it was an acceptable rendition of American history). I also struggle with the passion some have for gun ownership, even guns that appear to have no other use than to kill people. If our feelings are so far apart, where is the opportunity for diaglogue or . . . solution?

As the parent of adolescents I was also struck by the general "duh" factor amongst the adolescents featured in the film. It was very sad that the girls that bowled with Dylan and Eric "didn't really know them". I wonder how that was possible . . . it seemed a deliberate act, that the boys were just disregarded. Adolescents are all about perception and those perceptions seem to be off a large percentage of the time -- as adults we need to be very aware of this and always helping them to "see" more clearly.

I do not believe that there are easy answers or solutions to the issues presented in this film.I do not blame the actions of the rest of the children for Dylan and Eric's act. I believe that both Dylan and Eric were damaged is ways that were not known or understood and that the ways in which their lives evolved, the ways is which they perceived their lives and the people around them contributed to their decision. I do not blame the media (films, music, etc.) and probably, while I am a proponent of gun control is some form that I have not worked out, I probably do not blame the gun manufacurers or the munitions industry.

I have real concerns for who we have become as a people, for what seems to be shift in our moral compass and know that I am not representing the popular opinion.

This week on NPR there has been a series of discussions on torture as it pertains to prisoners of war and I have similar concerns there. I lost a friend in the trade center, waited many anxious hours before hearing from and retrieving my own dust covered and broken husband and then endured thirteen seemingly endless months while my brother and his fellow guardsmen secured the Bagdad airport, but still I can not come down on the side of torture. While I recognize that the second amendment exists, is open to interpretation as the founding fathers intended (the constitution to be), understand the idea of hunting as a sport and appreciate the skill it takes, I can not get my moral compass to turn in the direction of casual gun ownership -- not until we can figure out who we have become as a people. I believe that we must have this discussion and at the risk of sounding "preachy" will divulge that I try to get this discussion going on man levels between and amongst people with whom I cross paths hoping this idea, this discussion will grow.
As Robert Coles (who's writing style, by the way, I don't really care for) reinforces, we need to get at people's stories, really get at them, to know what motivates them, where they've come from and where they're headed.

We needed to know Dylan and Eric's stories and we needed to know where they were headed so we could head them off.